


Some Things Don't Want to Be Remembered, This Just Isn't One of Them

by SeverusSnep



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Arguing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Severus Snape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:47:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28153344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeverusSnep/pseuds/SeverusSnep
Summary: Severus is scared to lose Hermione, but could all this worry bring him closer to that end?
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Severus Snape
Comments: 11
Kudos: 65





	Some Things Don't Want to Be Remembered, This Just Isn't One of Them

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mersheeple](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mersheeple/gifts).



“You say you want to be here, but your actions say something else.” Hermione was truly pushed over the line this time. Severus just didn’t know how to tell her the truth.

“I don’t know what to tell you. You can believe me or not, ...and stop wasting your time.”

“Wasting my time! Is that what you think I’m doing?” She was livid.

“It’s what I _know_ you’re doing. Sooner or later you’ll realize that I’m not who you thought I was,what you thought I was, or who you _wanted—_ “

“What the _hell_ makes you say that?” She seethed.

“Because, it’s what always happens,” he struggled to keep his voice from raising, but he swore he wouldn’t yell at her— at anyone. He needed a drink, or a smoke, or both.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“You ought to end this before you realize how big of a mistake you’ve made.”

“Severus! I’m not breaking up with you! I just want to—wait, do _you_ want to break up?” She questioned, her voice growing louder.

“Merlin, no, but I think it’s in your best interest-“

“What the _fuck_ do you know about my best interest? I am my own person, and I can choose who I date,” she yelled. Having noticed her own anger, Hermione seemed to calm down after that.

“I understand,” he stated plainly.

“Then _stop_ saying that I’d be better without you, or that it’s in my best interest, or that I’ve made a mistake,” she started to tear up, “I don’t care if it’s a mistake. You’re the best damn mistake I’ve ever made.” Tears streamed unabashedly down her face now.

He wanted to make it better, to _be_ better, but he didn’t know how. He was rooted to his spot on the floor. She had silenced him with her words, and now he couldn’t find his own. He wanted to leave, but even more than that he wanted to stay. He didn’t know how. To leave was to prove her right, yet staying meant facing what was unknown to him. He didn’t need time to think because she soon took the initiative and folded herself into his arms, wrapping them around herself. He held on, not sure what else he could do. _Was this what she wanted? All of that, and a hug is what she wants?_ He didn’t understand, but it didn’t matter as long as she was happy.

She let go of him and stood back, looking at him inscrutably. What on earth was he to do? He didn’t want to lose her, but he felt as though he was on the brink of it if he couldn’t figure out what to do. He knew he didn’t deserve her, and he’d never understand why she chose _him_. _Him_ of all people. She could have anyone she wanted. She was smart and kind and hardworking and genuine, ambitious. He could go on, but _why_ did she decide that _he_ was who she wanted? He couldn’t help but question it, not matter how much he wanted to forget about it. The clawing in the back of his mind wouldn’t let him forget that it could all be pulled from under his feet once she realized it was _him_ that she’d chosen.

“What are you thinking, Severus?” she asked gently.

“I don’t understand, but I just want you to be happy,” he confessed, his face twisted in what looked like pain.

“Then you need to stop thinking you’re going to lose me, because it’s only going to bring more strain to our relationship. I mean, if we can’t communicate for fear of losing one another, what do we even have?” she sounded tired.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured.

“You don’t have to be, Severus. I know you’re trying, and I’m trying to remind myself that this isn’t particularly easy for you. I can’t be mad at you because of that, it’s not fair.”

He nodded just slightly and then lowered his head, averting his gaze from her. Her words had stripped him bare, leaving him feeling far too exposed. He had nothing left, he was naked in front of her with no protective walls to build between them. He couldn’t even if he had wanted to, she would see right through them. He had to submit to the vulnerability and hope it wouldn’t come back to bite him in the end. He told himself she wouldn’t hurt him. _I can trust her._ He heard her footsteps and looked up to see her closing the distance between them,

“You know, some things don’t want to be remembered. This just isn’t one of them. I want _you_ , Severus,” she asserted.

Hermione reached out to gently take his hand and guide him over to the sofa to sit. Her soft touch made him feel as though he would combust. He was truly more at ease when she was yelling at him, …it had at least been familiar. Not that she had ever yelled before, but it was much easier to accept harshness rather than her tender kindness that threatened to tear him down.

“It’s okay,” she rubbed his shoulder. He tensed against her touch, his mind and body at war with each other, “I’m sorry I yelled,” she apologized. He looked up at her, his thoughts swirling with confusion. No one had ever apologized for that before… “I won’t do it again… ever,” she promised. Severus remained silent, unsure of what to do nor say next. This was a first for him. He apparently didn’t need to say anything as she kissed his head and continued,

“I’m going to go make tea for us, do you want any?”

“Please,” he whispered.

He waited patiently on the sofa while she disappeared into her kitchen. Uncomfortable with sitting for too long, Severus stood and walked around the corner. She didn’t notice him immediately and it gave him the opportunity to look her over as she made tea for them. She was truly amazing. She was so understanding, even if he didn’t know how to receive it. She was loving, even when he didn’t understand how to accept it. She was patient, even when he didn’t know why she bothered with him. Even though she’d lost her patience a bit that night, he knew she felt bad about it. He didn’t want to lose her. She was right; worrying about losing her had nearly made it happen. He wanted to be better, if not for himself then at least for her. He wanted to be able to love her, to talk to her, to understand her better. She finally noticed him looking at her and spoke,

“Severus,” she chuckled, “how long have you been standing there?” She inquired.

“Not but a minute,” he replied softly.

She smiled and poured tea into their cups. He took an opportunity. It wasn’t something he normally did, and he hardly even knew how, but he wanted to make an attempt. Severus walked behind Hermione right before she set down the teapot. He gently wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head on her shoulder. Was he doing it right? He had no idea, but she seemed to be fond of hugging him, so he figured it was a safe move. He felt her hum and press back into his embrace, her hands covering his at her front. He wanted to say the words, he knew he felt them. He’d never said it before— well only to his mum, but that was different. This was _her_. He didn’t know if he could, …it was too paralyzing. His heart and mind kicked and spat at each other, trying desperately to decide on the best course of action, if any action was to be taken. What little time he felt he had left was running out. He steeled himself and felt his heart in his throat,

“I love you,” he whispered. He heard her let out a soft gasp.

“I love you too, Severus.” She turned around in his arms, beaming, and kissed him.

All was right in their world.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> (eeeew I love you Mer, I hope you like this! 💚)


End file.
